Paris Hilton for President
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008Paris Hilton has thrown her hat into the US presidential race, declaring her desire to campaign against “that wrinkly white-haired guy” and threatening to paint the White House pink if elected.
The blond socialite responded to Republican candidate John McCain’s controversial use of her image in a campaign television spot last week with a satirical ad of her own posted on the website www.Funnyordie.com.
In the ad, the 27-year-old appears reclining on a sun lounger beside a swimming pool, dressed only in a skimpy leopard-print bathing costume.
“Hey America, I’m Paris Hilton and I’m a celebrity too,” Hilton declares breezily. “Only I’m not from the olden days and I’m not promising change like that other guy. I’m just hot!
“But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I’m running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I’m, like, totally ready to lead.”
Hilton then offers an alternative US energy strategy, suggesting that she plans to combine elements from McCain and Democratic rival Barack Obama’s policy platforms.
“We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. … Energy crisis solved, I’ll see you at the debates, bitches!”
Hilton then signs off by declaring that she is now mulling her choices for vice-president. “I’m thinking Rihanna,” she said, referring to the singer-songwriter.
“I’ll see you at the White House,” Hilton adds. “Oh, and I might paint it pink. Bye!”
Last week’s McCain ad was condemned by Hilton’s mother Kathy, who called it as a waste of money and time on Sunday.
The ad, entitled “Celeb,” flashes pictures of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, along with images of the 200,000 people who flocked to Berlin to see Obama the previous week. “He’s the biggest celebrity in the world. But is he ready to lead?” the narrator asks.
In Hilton’s spoof campaign commercial, a gravel-voiced narrator takes aim at McCain, asking: “He’s the oldest celebrity in the world. Like, super old. Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin, and beer was served in a bucket. But is he ready to lead?”
The brains behind Hilton’s advert were Funnyordie.com contributors Adam McKay and Chris Henchy, who pitched the idea of filming the spot to Hilton.
“She got it that the McCain thing was a low blow,” McKay told AFP. “And she felt she didn’t want to return it with angry fire, and that this was the best way to respond. It’s a playful jab.”
Henchy and McKay both believe Hilton is more intelligent than her tabloid persona lets on.
“She’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for,” Henchy said.
McKay meanwhile said the McCain campaign’s “Celeb” ad was evidence of efforts to dumb down the election campaign.
“You can tell our country has its eyes on the prize when Paris Hilton is getting into one of the most important presidential election campaigns in years,” McKay said.
“I just think McCain is appealing to the lowest, basest parts of people in this country … It’s cheap stuff.
“For this guy to be putting out campaign ads with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears is just absolutely ludicrous and insulting to voters.”
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